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7 Aralık 2023
Ebeveyn ve Çocuk Arasındaki Rol Değişimi: Ebeveynleşme
Çocukluk döneminden yetişkinlik dönemine kadar bireylerin değişen yaşam rutinleriyle beraber olgunlaşmaları ve ekstra sorumluluk üstlenmeleri beklenen bir durumdur.
Ancak çocukların ya da ergenlerin gelişim dönemlerine uygun olmayan sorumlulukları üstlenmeleri, üstlenmek zorunda kalmaları bireylerde depresyon, kaygı, yeme bozukluğu gibi çeşitli sorunlara sebep olmaktadır. Bu sorumluluklardan biri olan ebeveynleşme, ebeveyn ile çocuk arasındaki bozulmuş ilişki örüntüsünün bir sonucu olarak ortaya çıkan rol değişimidir, çocuğun ebeveyn rolünü üstlenmesidir. Bu rol değişimi aile içindeki fiziksel ve/veya duygusal ihtiyaçların karşılanması için çocuğun kendi gelişim dönemi ihtiyaçlarından yoksun kalması olarak da açıklanabilir.
Ebeveynleşmenin 2 çeşidi vardır:
- Enstrümantal Ebeveynleşme
- Duygusal Ebeveynleşme
Aile içinde arabuluculuk görevini üstlenmek ve huzuru sağlamak duygusal ebeveynleşmeye; kardeşlere bakmak, yemek yapmak ise enstrümantal ebeveynleşmeye örnek verilebilir. Boşanma durumu, çocuğun tek ebeveyn ile yaşaması, sosyal destek yoksunluğu gibi faktörler çocuğu enstrümantal ebeveynleşmeye itebilir. Yanısıra duygusal ebeveynleşmede ise ebeveynin ihtiyaçları; çocuğun gelişim dönemindeki anlama becerisi, olgunlaşma düzeyi ve ihtiyaçlarına oldukça fazla gelmesi sebebiyle gelişim üzerinde en zararlı etkiye sebep olan ebeveynleşme türüdür.
Ebeveynin hastalanması, aile içi çatışma, boşanma, düşük sosyoekonomik düzey, ebeveyndeki madde kullanım bozukluğu, işkolik ebeveyn gibi aile yapısını etkileyen durumlar çocuklarda ebeveynleşmeye sebep olabilir. Ebeveynleşmeye maruz kalan çocuklar, kendilerine yüklenen ağır sorumlulukları en düzgün şekilde yerine getirmek ve sürdürmek için ekstra çaba harcayabilir, ortaya çıkacak herhangi bir olumsuz durumda kendini suçlayabilir ve yaptığı herhangi bir işi en mükemmel şekilde yapmak zorunda olduğuna dair çarpıtılmış inanış geliştirebilir. Ayrıca bu durum çocuğun ileriki yaşlarını da etkiler ve bireyin, başkalarının ihtiyaçlarını kendi ihtiyaçlarının önüne koymasıyla sonuçlanabilir.
Peki her zaman olumsuz mu sonuçlanır?
Eğer çocuk ebeveynleşme sürecini, yani aldığı sorumlulukları ailenin içinden geçtiği süreç için bir ihtiyaç olarak görüyorsa ve ebeveynlerinin de çaba gösterdiğini düşünüyorsa bu ebeveynleşmeyi bir zorunluluk olarak algılamayabilir. Bu sebeple de ebeveynleşme süreci boyunca çarpıtılmış inanış geliştirmez, geliştirse de kişiliği üzerinde kalıcı bir olumsuzluğa sebep olmaz.
Ebeveyn-çocuk arasındaki alma-verme dengesi sağlandığında ebeveynleşme olumsuz sonuçlara neden olmayabilir, aksine çocuğun gelişimine, özyeterliliğine, empati katkı sağlayabilmektedir.
Son olarak ebeveynleşmenin, travmatik yaşam deneyiminin ardından bireylerin başa çıkma becerilerini geliştirmesi ve bu becerilerin daha faydalı bir işlevsellik için yaşama dahil edilmesi anlamına gelen travma sonrası büyümeyi de desteklediğini görülmektedir.
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