Kalabalıklar İçinde Yalnızlık
28 Ağustos 2023
Suçluluk ve Utanç Ayrımı
4 Eylül 2023
Sahte Benlik
Bireyin öz varlığı olan, bireye yaşadığını hissettiren, bireyi diğer kişilerden duygu, tutum ve davranış açısından ayıran benliktir.
Benlik kişiye özgüdür. Benlik kişinin kendini nasıl gördüğü ve algıladığı ile ilgilidir. Benliğini anlamak için birey kendine “Ben kimim?” ya da “Ben neler yapabilirim?” gibi sorular sorabilir.
Benlik kavramı ele alındığında gerçek benlik, ideal benlik ve sahte benlik kavramlarında söz edilebilir. Bireyin kendisini nasıl gördüğü gerçek benliğidir. Bireyin kendini nasıl görmek istediği, nasıl duygu, tutum ve davranış örüntülerine sahip olmak istediği ise ideal benliktir. Birey gerçekçi olmayan yüksek standartlar içeren ideal benlik oluşturabilir. Bu yüzden bireyin gerçek benliği ve ideal benliğinden uzaklaşır ve birey huzursuzluk, mutsuzluk hissedebilir ya da kaygı duyabilir.
Sahte benlik ise bireyin duygu, tutum ve davranış örüntülerini olduğu gibi yansıtmaz ve gerçek benlik işgal edilir. Sahte benlik ile birey kendinden uzaklaşır ve yabancılaşır çünkü birey diğerlerinin beğeni ve onaylarına göre gerçek benliğinin üstünü örter. Sahte benlikle birey yaşadığına değil çevreyle uyumlu olup olmadığına odaklanır. Birey sahte benlikle sanki bir maske giyer, doğallıktan uzaklaşır. Yapılan araştırmalar doğrultusunda sahte benlik ilişkilerde sadece sahte benliğin olması ile sahte benliğin sosyal kibarlık işlevi ile kullanılması arasında farklı seviyelerde ele alınır.
Sahte benliğin oluşmasında nesne ilişkileri teorisine göre anne ile kurulan ilk ilişki önemlidir.
Yeterince iyi olmayan anne ile birey hazır olmayan bir benlik algısı ile dış gerçeklikle karşılaşır. Bu durumla baş etmek için savunma mekanizması olarak anneyle uyumlanır ve sahte benliğin temeli oluşur. Birey sorunlardan kaçmak için, kendini ifade etmesinin engellenmesinden dolayı ya da gösteriş düşkünü olduğundan dolayı sahte benlik oluşturabileceğinin de üstünde durulmuştur.
Bireyin benliği algılamasındaki fakirleşmeler ya da algıladığı ve sergilediği duygu, tutum ve davranış örüntülerindeki tutarsızlıklar gerçek benliğin tamamen sahte benlik tarafından örtülmesi gibi durumlar kişilik bozukluklarına neden olabilir. Bu yüzden bireyin sağlıklı benlik algısına sahip olması gerekir. Bunun için birey kendini farkında olmalı, zayıf ve güçlü yönlerini bilmeli ve kabul etmeli, varlığını başkalarının onay ve isteklerine göre şekillendirmemelidir.
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