TRANSFERANS NEDİR?
19 Haziran 2023
İçe ya da Dışa Yansıyan Enerji
30 Haziran 2023
Duygusal Boşluk
Her bireyin bebeklikten itibaren beslenme, barınma, güvenlik ya da uyku gibi fiziksel, arkadaşlık kurmak ya da bir gruba ait olmak gibi sosyal ya da ilgi, sevgi, duygusal sıcaklık, anlaşılmak, korunma, samimiyet görmek, dinlenilmek, önemsenmek ya da rehberlik almak gibi duygusal gereksinimleri vardır.
Bir bireyin en iyi koşullarda barınma ya da yemek gereksinimlerinin karşılanması yeterli değildir. Duygusal gereksinimlerin de karşılanması gerekir. Bu gereksinimlerin karşılanmaması ile bireylerde “Hiçbir zaman sevgi göremeyeceğim”, “Önemsiz ve değersizim o yüzden yalnız kalacağım”, “Başkaları bana gerçekten ilgi göstermeyecek” gibi yakınmalar kendini gösterebilir. Bireyler yalnızlık, acı ve üzüntü hissine ya da hiç duyulmadıkları düşüncesine sahip olabilirler. Ancak bu his ve düşüncelerin nerden geldiğini ya da neyden kaynaklandığını farkında olmayabilir. Bunu sebebi kişinin bir eksikliğe ve boşluğa sahip olmasındır. Hiç olmamış bir şeyi birey dile getiremez. Bu bireyler yaşamlarının başından beri yeterince duygusal beslenememiş, samimi ve içten gelen sevgi, ilgi ya da samimiyet görememişlerdir.
Duygusal gereksinimleri kendi içerisinde farklı başlıklarda toplanır. Bu başlıklar ilgi, empati ve korunmadır.
Bireyler farklı gereksinimlerin karşılanmamasından dolayı farklı yoksunluklara sahip olabilir. Bireye fiziksel önem gösterecek, dokunacak ya da kucaklayacak kimsenin olmayışından dolayı ilgi yoksunluğu, bireyin anlaşılmayacağını hissetmesinden dolayı empati yoksunluğu ve bireyin kimse tarafından korumayacağını ya da yol gösterilmeyeceğini düşünmesinden dolayı koruma yoksunluğu ortaya çıkabilir.
Duygusal gereksinimlerinin karşılanmaması bireylerin hayatında arkadaş seçimi ya da partner seçimi gibi farklı alanlarda etkili olabilir. Duygusal olarak eksik kalmış birey değer verdiği kişilerden isteklerini talep edemez, kendisi ile ilgili az şey söylerler ya da duygusal ihtiyacı yokmuş gibi hareket eder. Bu yüzden partner seçiminde duygusal yoksunluğu devam ettirecek bireyin duygusal gereksinimlerine önem vermeyen bir partner seçebilirken yalnızlığı da çekici bularak ilişkilerden uzak kalabilir. Birey duygusal eksikliğini telafi edebilmek için de aşırı talepkâr olabilir, isteklerin karşılanmamasına karşı aşırı öfkelenebilir ya da her şeyi hak görebilir. Benzer seçimler arkadaş ortamlarında da gözlemlenebilir.
Bireyin sağlıklı arkadaş ya da partner seçimleri yapabilmesi ve üzüntü yalnızlık ya da ilgi görememe gibi yakınmalarıyla baş edebilmesi için duygusal ihtiyaçlarını farkına varması ve her bir bireyin duygusal ihtiyaçlarının doğal olduğunu fark etmesi önemlidir. İhtiyaçlarımız çocukluk döneminde giderilmemiş olabilir. Eksikliğin adlandırılması ve üzüntü, acı ya da yalnızlık hislerinin karşılanmayan ihtiyaçlardan kaynaklandığını fark edilmesi gerekir.
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