Mahcubiyet
4 Ekim 2023
İlişkilerde Farkındalık
10 Ekim 2023
Karamsarlık Duygusu: “Bir Felaket Olacak!”
Olumsuzluk/karamsarlık günlük hayatta hepimizin belli bir düzeyde deneyimleyeceği duygu ve düşüncelerken bazı insanlar bunları daha şiddetli yaşarlar.
Yaşadıkları olumlu deneyimleri göz ardı ederler ve geçmiş olumsuz yaşantılarına ve gelecek olan olumsuzluklara odaklanırlar. Onlar için olayların olumsuz yönleri her zaman çok daha çarpıcıdır. Her şeyin bir felaketle sonuçlanacağına, olumsuz durumların etkilerinin kalıcı olacağına, bulundukları her girişimin başarısız olacağına, bütün kötü olayların onların başına geldiğine ve geleceğine dair abartılı inançları vardır. Bu inançlara sahip kişilerin bir kısmının da başına gelecek bu kötü olaylar karşısında çaresiz kalıp baş edemeyeceğine dair dayanıksızlık inançları vardır. Bu iki düşünce biçimi genelde yan yana bulunur.
Bu kişiler başlarına gelen sorunları içselleştirme eğilimindelerdir. Yaşanan olumsuzlukların sebebi genellikle kendileridir ve bunu engellemek için olumsuz ihtimallerin söz konusu olduğu durumlarda harekete geçmekten imtina ederler. Hata yapmamak için çaba sarf ederler ve bu durumların üzerine takıntılı olarak düşünürler. Olumsuz düşünceleri tekrar tekrar zihinlerinde döndürme anlamına gelen “ruminasyon” bu vakalarda sık görülür. Kaygılı, kararsız, şikayetçi, gergin, depresif özellikler gösterirler.
Bu kişiler karamsar olduklarını bazen fark etmeyebilirler de.
Çünkü bu düşünceler o kadar otomatik bir hale gelmiştir ki adeta herhangi bir düşünce girişinde olumsuz çıktı alabileceğiniz bir mekanizmaya sahip gibidirler. Bu mekanizmanın oluşumu çeşitli sebeplerden dolayı olmuş olabilir. Bazı insanlar bunu evde öğrenir. Karamsar ebeveynle büyümüş çocuklar ebeveyninin karamsarlığını içselleştirir. Bazı insanlar ise geçmiş yaşantılarında yaşadıkları derin zorluk ve travmalarla böyle şekillenir. Yaşadığı acılar kişiyi gelecekte de hep bu şekilde olacağına inandırmıştır.
Terapide kişinin yanlış inançları birlikte ele alınır. Kişinin bu düşüncelerine kanıt üretmesini, üretemediğini görünce sorgulaması izler. Neden bu yönde düşündüğü araştırılır. Ebeveynden kaynaklı karamsarlık duygusu ebeveyne yönelik, travmadan kaynaklı karamsarlık ise travmaya yönelik çalışılır. Geçmiş ve geleceğin birbirinden ayrılmasına önem gösterilir. Gelecekte olabilecek olumsuzlukların gerçekten olma ihtimali terapistle birlikte keşfedilir ve farkına varılır. Kişinin kontrolünün neler üzerinde etkili olduğu sorgulanır, kontrolün ve sorumluluğun hep kendinde olduğuna yönelik takıntıları ve takıntılı davranışları azaltılır.
Bu ve buna benzer maddelere uyuyorsanız siz de yoğun karamsarlık duyguları yaşıyor olabilirsiniz;
• Kötü düşüncelerden kendinizi alıkoyamıyor ve bu düşünceleri zihninizden atamıyorsanız
• Başkaları size “çok evhamlı” ya da “çok pimpirikli” olduğunuzu söylüyorsa
• Sık sık kötü sonuçlanacağını düşündüğünüz için işlerinizi erteliyorsanız
• Genellikle gergin ya da endişeli hissediyorsanız, bu durumdan uykularınız da etkileniyorsa
• Bir türlü huzurlu ve halinden memnun hissedemiyorsanız
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